


Big Green Tractor

by MysticMoonhigh



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 10x05, 9x01, Crack, Fanfiction, Funny, M/M, Poncho Guy - Freeform, Romance, Tractor Angel - Freeform, Why do I do this to myself, fucking crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-16
Updated: 2014-11-16
Packaged: 2018-02-25 13:57:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2624342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MysticMoonhigh/pseuds/MysticMoonhigh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A fanfiction between our two favourites, Poncho Guy and the Tractor Angel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Big Green Tractor

**Author's Note:**

> I dont know what the fuck I'm doing with my life.

It was a breezy Tuesday afternoon when they first met.

Poncho Guy was wearing his Poncho, to help fight off the cold of the fall season. He was driving in his Ford pickup truck, on his way to the Farmer's market. After all, he loved organic food most of all.

The fields were rolling along lazily outside the window, corn, corn, corn, beans, corn, when suddenly, _holy fucking chuck impaled on a glass dildo,_ that was a fine piece of man meat. 

He was glimmering in a pale light, the sun shining down on the small tractor which he rode. The fields seemed dull (they were dull anyways, fucking fuck vegetables, Poncho guy likes fruit) in comparison. Even from here, Poncho guy could make out a beard that was absolutely  _divine._

The tractor pulled over and the guy hopped out, walking to the nearest building. Poncho Guy watched the entire way, his mouth practically salivating at the sight of the beautiful man. He didn't typically like country music, but he would deal with 1,000 Carrie Underwood songs to get just an hour with the man on the tractor. That farmer's tan was just...  _mmm._

So, he pulled over. He hopped out of the truck and slowly walked into the farmer's market, trying to play it cool. Unfortunately, since he was a fucking dumbass and tried to look pointedly anywhere but the tractor man, he was looking at the ceiling and slipped in a puddle of water. The irony of landing in a puddle of water in a poncho was not missed on him.

The man who was watering the plants started laughing his ass off. He probably left the puddle there on purpose. Fucking douchebag.

Poncho guy started to get up, getting his hands wet in the process. However, as soon as his knees were on the ground, he glanced up to find a hand reaching down towards him. He grabbed it without thought, gladly accepting the help upwards.

His voice got caught in his throat. It was the  _tractor hottie._ He couldn't believe his eyes. 

“Can I help you with anything?” He asked, smiling. Poncho Guy felt his knees go weak.

“I would like some penetration. PEAS. PEAS, not-” He cut off speaking, face-palming. Unfortunately it was with the hand that had fallen in the puddle, so now he was wet on top of everything else. He was pretty close to giving up on life. 

“No, it's fine. We actually don't have any peas. Those are my favourite vegetable, though.” tractor guy said. Poncho Guy felt his cheeks turn red. 

“Oh, okay. Uh, what's your name?” He questioned, forgoing friendly conversation.

“I'm Tractor Angel.” He said. _How fitting,_ Poncho Guy mused. Not because he was divine, but because there was a fucking harp in the back of the store, shoved into a closet that was probably not supposed to be open, or showing the harp. Of course, he had no suspicions. Weirder things had happened.

“That's a nice name. I'm Poncho Guy.” He said, gesturing towards his poncho. Tractor Angel nodded his head, thoughtfully.

“You want to go out sometime? I know I look like I came from the bible belt, but my tractor actually plows both kinds of fields.” He purred, voice dropping into a seductive timbre. 

“Of course.” Poncho Guy said, nodding his head.

Tractor Angel held up a finger for a moment, walking over to the counter and picking up a pen. He wrote down something and handed it back to the Poncho Guy, winking at him.

On the paper was a number, and next to it, a scarily accurate portrait of a John Deer tractor that Tractor Angel had somehow managed to draw in two seconds flat. 

“Okay, I'll give you a call.” He said, nodding his head.

“Looking forward to it.” Tractor Angel replied. 

~~~ 

Later in the week, Poncho Guy heard his cell phone ringing. 

_I can take you for a ride on my big green tractor, we could go slow, or maybe go faster,_ rang out through the speakers. He immediately grabbed his cell phone, almost hitting a squirrel in the process. He should probably pay more attention while driving, but hey, the bae was calling. Who the fuck could blame him. 

He picked up the phone with a large smile on his face. 

“Want to meet somewhere, fifteen minutes from now?” Tractor Angel asked, and Poncho Guy could hear his smile. 

“How about the movies?” Poncho Guy asked. He remembered that a theatre nearby was doing a showing of _The Rocky Horror Picture Show_ , and he wanted to be able to catch it. 

“That sounds fine to me.” Tractor Angel said, from the other line.

“See you there, then.” Poncho guy said, internally squeeing with delight. He'd done it! He'd finally caught himself a big chunk of that tractor-riding man meat. This was gonna be fun. And he was wearing his favourite poncho today, too. 

“See ya.” The Tractor Angel said, hanging up the phone.

Poncho Guy just couldn't stop smiling.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a comment, kudos, or a review. Which is the same thing as a comment but I'm too lazy to go back and change one of them. So yeah. If this gets enough kudos I might do a second chapter, but I think it's good where it is now, honestly.


End file.
